CRAWFORD,TX. After three hours of tense negotiations over crafting a definitive plan for Iraq, President Bush finally emerged from his ranch in Crawford, TX. to greet the press corps with welcome news:
“I know that many of you have been waiting for a War Plan,” he said, a vague glint in his eye, “and I’ve been waiting, too. It’s not easy to wait. Nobody likes to wait. And waiting, when it comes to Iraq, is even less easy when you want to hold off for just a little while longer, just to get your facts straight, right?
Now I know that, earlier, I said you’d get a War Plan on Christmas day, and then Gerald Ford died, so I put it off until New Years. But because we have to bury Gerry on Jan. 2, now I’m putting it off again. Next month is out, too, because we’ve got Saddam’s execution, and after that it’s the Easter Season, then summer vacation.
So that’s why we’re making a firm decision to consult the country about the war in Iraq on November 4, 2008. By then, we can say, with almost absolute certainty, what the best route for Iraq will be.”