Local Man Arrested for “Wikipediaphilia”

30 12 2006

NEWARK, DE. Classmates at the University of Delaware describe Hunter Farrington as “mild-mannered,” “polite,” and “unassuming.” Parishoners at St. Anthony’s recall his firm handshake and fine tenor voice. Even his parents perceived nothing odd about his extraordinary curiosity for trivia–a curiosity that could only be satisfied by 10-12-hour marathon sessions on Wikipedia.

“At first, it seemed like an innocent hobby,” his mother claims, “Hunter would log on, cut and paste a paragraph into his research paper, and that was it. Next thing we knew, he was telling us all about what a ‘sari’ was, the average amount of rainfall in Bangladesh, and popular mating rituals of Dutch sailors.” Dr. Harold Ghione, Hunter’s English instructor at the University, noticed that “he never completed assigned readings but would always come prepared for class with some esoteric bit of information. In the middle of my lecture on Machiavelli, he pantomimed every murder Cesar Borgias ever committed, in alphabetical order.”

Eventually, Hunter’s family intervened, calling authorities when he refused to stop lecturing a local Jehovah’s Witness on the origins of her faith system.

Psychiatrists at the local prison had trouble diagnosing his symptoms until Hunter admited that he had already diagnosed his own disease, proudly submitting it online as “Wikipediaphilia.”

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