God extends Apocalypse until July, 2007

3 01 2007

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After a private, one-on-one conversation with God, Pat Robertson revealed that the Almighty has extended his initial deadline for the Apocalypse from December, 2006 until July, 2007. This makes the twentieth consecutive year that Mr. Robertson (host of The 700 Club) has emerged from his prayer retreat in the Hamptons to proclaim God’s merciful decision to push back Armageddon until a more appropriate time.

Robertson’s viewers, a flock some 1 million strong, have awaited the End of Time for decades; each year, they have witnessed from afar as God prophesized a wide range of catastrophes: nuclear holocaust, coast-to-coast hurricanes, SARs, national healthcare reform, etc.

This year, however, Robertson revealed that the Lord would work in a much more mysterious way: “He promised mass killings, that chaos would rule with an iron fist…but only if granted renewable promises on an annual basis.”

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7 01 2007
777

World Ends 7/7/2007
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