Bush Makes Decisive Move to Remain Indecisive

28 01 2007

After a grueling, four-hour meeting with his staff, President Bush has finally made a firm decision not to make any more decisions in the remaining 23 months of his term in The White House. Infuriated by Congressional representatives who have pressured him to begin speaking again (a faculty that the President, in his current de-evolved simian state, can no longer achieve), he has responded by isolating himself and his entire cabinet in the Oval Office.


The President, robbed of the very free will that, ironically, once set him apart from lower species.

When Fox News reporters arrived to carry out a scheduled interview with the President in captivity, he seemed withdrawn, irritable, and short-tempered. Even interrogator Bill O’Reilly, whose remarkable ability to make up his mind without ever thinking, noticed that Bush no longer threw his foot down or pointed his finger at him. When O’Reilly asked the President who “The Decider” was, Bush shrugged his shoulders. To reinforce this point, O’Reilly asked again, this time pointing his finger and reprimanding him “for not staying the course and deciding to become the Decision-Maker–not the Decider.” Bush paused, looked somewhat decisive, picked a flea out of O’Reilly’s hair, and surged out of the room.




2 responses

28 01 2007
Jenn Collins

You have once again proven why you are my hero.

29 01 2007

thanks! (hoo hoo ha ha)

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