Scooter and Cheney Involved in Underhanded Activity

6 02 2007

He has been branded with many labels in the past: “puppet,” “gopher,” “tool.” During his brief and tortured career in the 1970’s, he witnessed his own career plummet from a glorified minor celebrity to an obnoxious production assistant. Indeed, in the past two decades, Lewis “Scooter” Libby has fallen out of the spotlight, joining the ranks of Danny Bonaduce, half the cast of “Labrynth,” and Beaker (after his crippling crystal meth addiction).

Retreating to a remote Wyoming ranch in the late 1980’s, Scooter rarely made public appearances, but was also rumored to have rekindled a close friendship with Dick Cheney–both of whom appeared together on “The Muppet Show” in 1979:


Scooter and Dick Cheney share a most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, muppetational moment together onstage.

In July, 2003, however, Scooter resurfaced as the prime suspect in the leak that outed Valerie Wison as a CIA operative–a move that legal scholars argue resulted from Wilson’s published denial of any official proof of WMDs. On the stand, Scooter has remained absolutely silent, refusing to respond to prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald’s pointed questions. Fitzgerald even cited incriminating testimonies of two credible witnesses, Marc Grossman and Robert Grenier, demanding that Scooter make some physical gesture if he understood. Scooter slumped.

At this point, Fitzgerald became incensed: “Dammit! Can’t you speak for yourself? Can’t you act on your own volition?” (Pause) “Fine, then. Let’s play your last speech with the Vice President.”

As soon as Dick Cheney’s voice could be heard, Scooter became animated; his head tilted to one side, and he began grumbling into the thick folds of his neck.




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