Ann Coulter Possessed By Spirit of Lucrezia Borgia

10 03 2007

Borgia (left) first took possession of Coulter (right) in 1984 during a Delta Gamma meeting at Cornell University…and has spewn bile at her imaginary enemies ever since.

In the past two decades, conservative political commentator Ann Coulter has earned a stunning reputation as a pundit for the far right: a distinct American niche comprised of rabidly patriotic citizens, pseudo-literates, and pig-humpers.

The roots of her peculiar ability to galvanize this demographic have been traced to her sheltered, privileged childhood in New Canaan, Connecticut. However, in recent weeks, these roots have been traced back much farther…to a 15th century Italian femme fatale, Lucrezia Borgia, who allegedly took possession of Coulter’s body some twenty years ago.

In 1983, while participating in a Delta Gamma “Feed the Rich” fundraiser, Coulter collapsed in the student union center. She began to convulse and writhe, expelling vomit and racial epithets. Her sorority sisters tried to approach her to help, but were so repulsed by the thick stream of pea soup covering her body that they left the building.

“It was hard to make out what she was saying,” Missy Stapleton III (former sorority sister) said, “but between the chunks of pork, she mentioned something about ‘a plot to overthrow her’ and ‘poisoning the wells of the infidels.’ It was all very disgusting, but also very catchy. Like a bad song with a good jingle, I just couldn’t get it out of my head.”

coulter2.JPG

Cultural critics and scholars have identified this speech as originating from Lucrezia Borgia, one of the most diabolic individuals who ever lived. During her lifetime, Borgia cloaked her true intentions under a thick veil of religious piety, murdering dozens of her arch-rivals and surviving on malice alone.

For much of the 1990’s, Coulter’s “inner Borgia” had remained dormant; she would often attend Republican rallies, making eye contact with others and even smiling. But after the 1998 Lewinsky affair, her Lucrezia succubus reemerged in an interview with Time magazine: “Clinton is a rapist! Kill the beast! Spill his blood!” Within weeks, these words became a popular rallying cry for the case against the former president; Coulter fans began chanting them, often in remote locations where Dionysian bonfires had been erected.

 

Since 2001, Some 2,000 “Coulter cults” have sprung up in remote regions of the United States. These often involve elaborate ritualistic sacrifices of marshmallows (a popular treat among liberal terrorists).

 

 

After 911, Lucretia manifested herself again, this time taking full possession of Coulter’s faculties, towers of intellect vulnerable to unexpected attacks.

 

“A dagger is more important than a book.”

“Tuscany has become trouble recently.”

“Then there are the 300,000 Milanese supported by papal charities. And of course there are the 200,000 greedy town elders. Both would make a pretty big meal for the Venetians. Ergo, we should eat them.” –Lucrezia Borgia

 

“A cruise missile is more important than a head start.”

“Canada has become trouble recently.”

“Then there are the 22 million Americans on food stamps. And of course there are the 39 million greedy geezers collecting Social Security. The greatest generation rewarded itself with a pretty big meal.”–Ann Coulter

 

 

 

 

The editor of Doubletake wants to thank you, Ann. Go here:

 

 

https://gspence1173.wordpress.com/2007/07/13/slam-bam-thank-you-ann/

 

 

 

 

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32 responses

26 06 2007
OPHALO69

You are worse than the people you despise. You are nothing more then the uneducated, foul mouthed, hateful offfspring of 1970’s societal garbage-worthless hippies!

26 06 2007
gspence1173

I’d really like to spend the time parsing this thought-provoking comment (societal garbage-worthless hippie??), but I have to go back to mocking pseudo-educated, foul-mouthed, slanderous, malicious pundits for the right. Thanks, Ann!

27 06 2007
george

Ann Coulter is cutting edge at self promotion. Just like Parris Hilton, Britney Spears, and David Duke. If I believed she was really as filled with hate as she seems I’d feel physically sick to my stomach. She is very pretty but when she gets put on a spot like when Ms. Edwards got her on the phone, notice how many times she swept her hair and stalled with guile to buy time, think, and cover her embarrassment. She is one neurotic chick. Can you imagine having a woman like her where you work? I’d be looking for another job quick. She’s relentless and ruthless. And I’m a republican!

27 06 2007
gspence1173

I think you’re right–she is a total self-promotional icon. I think a lot of its a pose, too–and a profitable one at that! …kept thinking about Paris Hilton, getting out of jail, going down the red carpet ‘catwalk’ to her mom…sounds like the same thing in a way…

27 06 2007
Demobarb

I think you are a very sad person, full of hate. I don’t wish hurtful things upon anyone else, but put yourself in the shoes of the Edward’s. What if a child of your own died. You would be hurt by someone bringing those feelings back like a knife to the heart, after all you are human too. But a disgraceful one at that.

27 06 2007
gspence1173

I’m not backing up Ann–just the opposite!

27 06 2007
Daniel K.

Re: Ophalo — wow, Ann, you sure clamp down on this stuff fast!

27 06 2007
Diane

Newsflash: I am a Republican, but I do have compassion. People like Coulter give people in my party a bad name. I thought she was pretty, too, the first time I saw her, then she opened her mouth . . . . I am unable to see pretty anymore. I find her totally embarrassing, and yes, like Hilton, great at self-promotion and a complete narcissist. She’d kill a puppy on the air if she thought it would get her one more viewer. I wish people would stop watching both of them; I don’t think either one of them would know what to do with themselves for five minutes if they no longer received any televised attention. Coulter is supposed to be a Christian, but if she thinks she’s a Christian, she needs to go back to her bible and read what Jesus was truly about.

27 06 2007
Maria

I just want to say that Ann has all the right in the world to say whatever she wants, it’s just a shame that she has to say it in such hateful ways. When a person attacks another with the need of profanity or offense, that means that that person doesn’t have better vocabulary to defend him or herself. I think her voice would be heard in a better way if she would say what she needs without having to go so deep in other people’s lives. When Ann does these types of remarks, it’s like she puts herself in the same low as the rest. I think that she would rather be known as a person who set an example by leading the people the right way and not the hatred way. This world is chaotic as it is and having people like her insulting and offending the rest is not getting this world any better. We are human beings that have the capacity of reason, let’s start using it and act less like wild animals, because we get an education for a reason.

27 06 2007
dissentingAdult

OPHALO69 :

huh? ‘uneducated?’
seems to be making a pretty good historical reference here.

‘foul mouthed?’
i, uh, did not see any foul language…

‘hateful?’
what exactly, do you consider hateful? i think your ‘societal garbage’ comment is about as hateful a thing as i have read today. and that includes reading some of the idiotic crap that coulter said.

please, OPHALO69, try not to make arguments that neither you nor anyone else can back up, moron.

27 06 2007
Jake Delaney

I am a Republican – one of moderate persuasion – and I find Ann Coulter to be a sniveling, vile piece of crap. She doesn’t speak for me, and I’m certain she doesn’t speak for millions of compassionate, centrist Republicans. I am ashamed to share the same political party with this evil, self-centered bitch. The extreme right has made her a millionaire, but her 15 minutes of fame are about to expire. Don’t give her credit for anything, positive or negative. The sooner we stop fawning over her comments, the sooner she will fade into oblivion. Good riddance… hi, ho the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead!

27 06 2007
james

There is a reason why the book cover – covers her adams apple. You can look at every picture of her.. on TV whatever she has an adams apple, she is a DUDE!!!

If you want the full story go and check out Strap On Veterans for Truth
http://www.hoolinet.com/straponvets/tabid/278/default.aspx

That will give you a different side of her.

27 06 2007
Jake Delaney

Try this analogy…

Coulter
Unaccepable
Narcissistic
Troublemaker

28 06 2007
mike

Ann Coulter is great. She is smart and funny. Some people just don’t get it.
Yeh, it sounded like she called a John Edwards a faggot, but she didn’t, she was making a joke about political correctness, and a lot of people didn’t get ( and still don’t ) it. She really needs to speak a little more slowly …. but if your not listening, I guess it doesn’t matter. Besides John Edwards is a lawyer, that should be insult enough.

28 06 2007
Pat

Ann Coulter is only intelligently doing what Bill Maher has been doing for years. The difference is Maher is positioned as a comic. Ann has started hitting hot buttons with you liberals and it hurts. Maher makes sharp comments but you don’t see Republicans getting upset about it because nobody takes Bill Maher seriously in a political sense. Ann has political credibility and her comments must really hurt the Dems. Good. I hope it does. Dems are the most evil, vile, self-centered people I’ve ever seen. Thank God your time has come and gone. When Iraq goes away, the Dems will fade away just as they did immediately before Iraq. The Democratic vote isn’t a vote FOR those clowns, but rather a vote AGAINST Bush. Yeah, we get it…get out of Iraq. But Dems will screw it up once they get in again and make us the laughing stock that created this terrorism problem in the first place. Thanks Bill for setting us up while you partied with the interns in the Oval office. Nice work.

28 06 2007
Stano

Hey Mike… Ann Coulter is (or was) a lawyer too.

28 06 2007
gspence1173

so, Pat…let me get this straight: you’re defending Coulter as a firebrand who relies on inflammatory rhetoric directed towards Democrats? Considering the millennial, apocalyptic tone of your post (chock-full o’ anti-Democrat soundbytes), it doesn’t surprise me that you sympathize with her.

How ’bout expressing a NEW political opinion without recourse to low-down partisan posturing?

(By the way, I’m totally lost on the Bill Maher comparison)

29 06 2007
JULIAN THE APOSTATE

ANN COULTER IS A VAPID TRAILER TRASH WHOE!!!

29 06 2007
Mike T

Ann Coulter is the female version of KKK leading her mission of hate in America. She is the founder of rebirth starring Ann, herself.
Many have to wonder if she has any good inside. You would think all the hate is pretty much gone except for the same racial tensions, general feelings of disgust towards illegal aliens as we deny everyday. Lets not say it doesn’t exist, because it does. Too really become a fan of Ann, one has to agree with her on many levels, which makes America not a safe place for Christians. I am not a Chrisitan but I believe many are. Elizabeth is a genuine soul who stands by John and should share with us about their family beliefs and values. She comes of a saint through all of this. Whether John gets my vote, Elizabeth has already.

29 06 2007
JIve

We don’t need to listen to Ann Coulter, buy her books or speak of her. Do you really want a hateful America? Why do we give her our time and money? She is a super bitter single woman, who doesn’t enjoy anything good. She has to be jealous of Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a mother, wife married to John, such a good looking man, have 3 more and should have many as long they can afford and is going through another major set back, breast cancer. Who can compete with Elizabeth on what she has gone through? Ann has no clue what it is like to be in Elizabeth’s shoes and wants to insult, hurt and humiliate the Edward family? Is Ann that desperate? If she has a man like John, she would probably have a heart. Of course, it reflects on her bitterness towards sex, family, and love ’cause Ann doesn’t have it, so she has to humiliate others to divert attention to herself. You are what you are, Ann!

29 06 2007
hail ann

you liberal democrats can dish it out but cant take it, ive heard more crap from dem attacking rep verbally in the last 8 years more than ever, thats just plain pathectic with all the crap they’ve said , finally someone speaks back and tells it like it is and all they can do is come up with some remarks about her looks, nobody said she was auditioning for playboy, but she sure seems to have more balls than alot of congressman, she dont pussyfoot around , thats one problem with america today so afraid someone might get offened or get their feelings hurt, it makes me sick !!! thats life and life can be cruel just the way it is and if a woman were to ever be president , shed be the one i’d vote for , u better hope and pray hillary clinton doesnt become pres, god what a mess this country will be and dont even get me started on obama

29 06 2007
Michael P. Wright

I don’t understand these people who compare Coulter to Paris Hilton. It’s true that they both thrive on publicity. That’s where the comparison ends. Hilton has been frivolous and entertaining to some. She is also harmless and now seems interested in being taken seriously. Coulter is mean and nasty. Hilton is glamorous. Coulter looks anorexic. Sometimes I wonder if Coulter is secretly on the liberals’ payroll. She is the perfect enemy — always saying stupid ugly things so they can bash her. John Edwards has used her recent attacks as a basis for a fund-raising plea: “Coulter is being mean to me — send me money! “

29 06 2007
carrie lynn

ann, you need to see a shrink real bad. you are full of hate and you ENJOY to project it to others. is this the way you were raised? did something happen
in your childhood that made you like this? if i would use your brain, i’ll come up with this conclusion…you have the “hots” for edwards!!! can’t you find
anybody that would take you for “who or what” you are?….guess not!!
take a lot of cold showers, that would probably help for a cold hearted person
like you. maybe you just neet to get….L…D!!

1 07 2007
john belusha

Ann may be a sick, twisted ole windbag but she at least gives a great blowjob lol. And the best part about it is that she has to stop talking!

8 07 2007
Tom Stiles, M.D.

I just finished reading “Godless” and I find Ann Coulter to be funny, very intelligent, and to outline especially well the religion of Darwin, evolution.
She makes Richard Dawkins out to be the priest of pseudo-scientific babble
that he truely is. Call it what you will but the current behavior of liberalism
is anti-human and ultimately destructive, hidden to many by its duplicitous
language. Ann uses sarcasm particularly well in describing proponants of
our nations foolish notions. I’d send this to her directly if I could as well.

8 07 2007
gspence1173

I haven’t read “Godless” yet…but I’m reluctant to take the word of anyone who takes the moral highground on any religious matters and then resorts to condemning others from a position of putative moral rectitude. Sounds pretty un-Christian to me, casting stones at others.

It’s hard to take Ann seriously, pontificating about God and godlessness…especially when the cross she wears is dangling over her cleavage.

11 07 2007
jean

>I just finished reading “Godless” and I find Ann Coulter to be funny, very >intelligent, and to outline especially well the religion of Darwin, evolution.
>She makes Richard Dawkins out to be the priest of pseudo-scientific babble
>that he truely is.

You just gave me a great idea. Think she’s smart, do you? OK, let’s get Coulter to debate Richard Dawkins! It’s free publicity for her, so how can she turn it down? I’d pay big money to see him politely and intelligently explain to her how she has mischaracterized every single tenet of Darwinism (and given his “Selfish Gene” theory he might have some witty comments about why she hasn’t chosen to reproduce). Bill it as the Scopes Monkey Trial – Round 2. Gawd that would be funny…

p.s. Christopher Hitchens would also be good – if he were sober, and didn’t slobber too grotesquely over her. But even obviously drunk and shabbily reprobate he’s brilliant enough to twist her in amusing little knots. Yum.

11 07 2007
jean

P.S. Every time Coulter talks about “godless” liberals, I sense she’s been sniffing the glue on conservative bumper stickers again. Her thinking seems about 1 inch deep. What a great career she could have had writing advertising copy, if she hadn’t the overwhelming urge to put on the little black dress for nationwide cable TV. And I believe she’s called herself a “public intellectual”? Wow. I suppose, compared to her fans, …

18 07 2007
Glenn

I believe it is the price of the 1st admendment to allow a person like Miss Coulter to malign and hurt a family’s memory of a perished son. This person needs to act like an adult and admit her manner is wrong, rude, and ignorant; however, my dithers would just to let her fade away like so many other hateful and vile people have done in the past. She brings no new thought to the table and has nothing to offer us in ideas for positive change. Miss Coulter you are dismissed. Maybe you will mature a bit and come back if the memory of your poor form fades.

8 08 2007
herb Schmerdtz

The acidic satire you people on the left use in a vain attempt to hide your hate is nothing even close to cute or clever. You spend your days making creative fiction demonizing everybody you disagree with, yet when Ann Coulter has the nerve to unmask your game you ejaculate vitriol in a rage I call tantrum sex.

When Ann calls liberalism a religion with everything from dogma, (government creates jobs) to your doctrine of infallibility (political correctness) and your own creation myth, (Darwinism), you blow up in rage.

When she takes aim at your games of violence, such as justifying America’s wholesale slaughter of the preborn by calling it “choice” you belch up a hissy fit worthy of Katie Kaboom.

When leftists censor people of faith and marginalize them, Ann adroitly points that out. She even goes farther, the effect being like waving a Bible at a liberal, and they scatter.

The bottom line is that Ann Coulter is the symbol of liberals’ abandonment of reasoned public debate for childish name calling. None of us on the right has yet to hear a liberal say, ‘Coulter is wrong because…’ You’ll never hear that, and I offer an unclaimed $500 check to prove it. If anyone comes forward and offers reasoned debate as to why Ann Coulter is wrong, they will get the check. So far there have been zero claimants.

HTS

18 08 2007
RANDY RALSTON

MY DEAR CLOSE ladies….& gents: Lucrezia Borgia’s role has been ridiculously misconstrued and demonized by ‘tarded historians, ain’t the truth at all! She was a pawn of her brothers and the other POWERBROKERS around her! Love or hate her, at least Ann can be an independent thinker! As far as the Nazi hooker allegations, NAZI SCHMATZI!, KNOFKER SCHMOFKER! – if Ann has the TIME (& I bet 45-to-one she doesn’t) ‘ol elvis aaron has the cash. HISTORY IS FABLE. QUIT TAKING LIFE SO SERIOUSLY – IT’S A FARCE. I have VISUALIZEd MYSELF AS A FETUS IN ANN’S tummy. BET SHE’D BE A GOOD MOMMY. THESE BROADS WITH THE FRIKKIN’ BUMPERSTICKERS: “HOW CAN YOU TRUST ME WITH A CHILD IF YOU CAN’T TRUST ME WITH A CHOICE!” DUHHH!! THE CHOICE IS, HONEYS, EITHER YOU SPREAD YOUR LEGS AND LET THE DUMMKOPF SVANZ PUMP HIS GOO INSIDE OF YOU…OR YOU DON’T… THAT’S THE CHOICE. WE DON’T MAKE A CHILD AND GO, “”DUH??? CAN WE UNWIND THIS DEAL?” THE PILL, IUD, VASCETOMIES, KISS LA POON, SLAP THE BISOP ONCE BEFOE SEX TO MAKE YOUR SPREM COUNT LOW THEN PULL IT FOR INSURANCE, WHY WERE WE GIVEN A BRAIN? IMPROVISE! RESPECTFULLY, RANDY R (AKA Che Gueverra) aka shirley chisholmRANDY RALSTON (18:59:39) :
ELVIS AARON P CHECKING INO O, I JUST WANT TO SAY MONICA LEWINSKI IS A GREAT DAME. AND ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO CRITICIZED HER ARE FULL OF BEANS. THIS HOTTIE ANNOUNCES BEFORE SHE CUMS TO THE WHITE HOUSE SHE IS WEARING HER “PRESIDENTIAL KNEE-PADS.” SUCCORS THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD HELPING HIM RELEASE PENT UP STEAM…HERGO, THEREFOR DEMONSTRATING TO THE SEXUALLY ADVENTUROUS YOUNG GIRLS A VUNDERBAR BIRTH-CONTROL METHOD. PERJURES HERSELF TO PROTECT THE PRESIDENT (LOYALTY is the HIGHEST LAW). LET’S GET REAL! MONICA LEWINSKI IS ONE OF THE COOLER CHICKS IN POLITICAL HISTORY. I WILL TAKE MONICA LEWINSKI OVER MOST ANY OTHER BROAD ANY ‘OL DAY. 998-OUT-OF-1000 LADIES WOULD BE WHINING AND PULLING THE CIVIL SUIT BULLJIVE. AND HUGH THE HEF HEFNER KVETCHING ABOUT SERGEANT BILCO OF THE CANADIAN MOUNTIES NOT PORKING PRETTY DAMES. HEY, THE PRESIDENT WASN’T LAYING IN BED IN HIS ROBE ASKING 7 BOTTLE-BLONDES:”IS MY PIPE LIT?” “DO YOU HAVE MY 12 CASES OF VIAGRA READY?” THE PRESIDENT WAS WORKING HIS ASS OFF 14 TO 18 HOURS A DAY ATTENDING TO AFFAIRS OF STATE (AND CIRCUS) AND THE SPIRIT IS STONG BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK! I THINK MONICA LEWINSKI IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, A SEXY WOMAN, GENTLEMEN REV YOUR BONARS FUCKING TITILLATING FEMME. SHE TURNS ME ON THE MOSTEST! SHE’S A PLEASER NOT A TEASER. AND IF MONICA LEWINSKI WERE MINE I’D GIVE HER EVA PERON’S 30-CARAT DIAMOND SOLITAIRE SIMPLY FOR HER FANTASTIC LOYALTY, WHICH WE SEE SLIM TO NONE NOWADAYS IN THE POLITICAL ARENA OR ANY DARN WHERE ELSE. RANDOLPH VON RALSTON aka CHE GUEVERA – PALADINE FOR THE POOR – HAVE GUNS WILL TRAVEL.

22 01 2009
coffee

confession: i know she’s abrasive, but i totally have a crush on Ann Coulter

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