This past Friday, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, who has maintained a consistent game face wavering between baleful condescension and spartan detachment, finally caved in, smiling in front of a camera and a strategically placed American flag.
Prone to neither fits, twitches, nor mood-swings (common among members of her administration), Condi seemed unnervingly natural, even at peace with herself. She made eye contact, smirked, and once offered a pro-Israel joke about Palestine.
Psychiatrists attribute her recent emotional outburst to a belief in America’s rising role in the world of international affairs. When asked to define this role, Secretary Rice laughed hysterically, then disappeared into an armed motorcade.