Area Man Scammed by Holy Spirit Impersonator

24 05 2007

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Valley, AL. Barry Flindersen had experienced the rapture of the Holy Spirit on several prior occasions: during a meeting at his 7th Day Adventist Church, at a family picnic, and once, after a prolonged bout of lovemaking with his wife, Anna. The Lord, as he was well aware, worked in mysterious ways.

“So it was a surprise–but no shock,” Mr. Flindersen said, “when the Holy Spirit arrived again last Thursday in mail format, informing me that things would ‘start turning around.’ I’d been having a real bad day, feeling vulnerable and weak, and usually when I feel like this, that’s about the time He shows up asking for a donation.”

Little did Barry know that he would become the target of a cruel, satanic prank. “When I opened up the letter, there it was: a tongue of fire descending from the sky, as prophesied in Isiah 5:24. I thought, well, gee: this must be my lucky day!”

Noticing three blue arrows in a circle, Mr. Flindersen understood “as if led by the hand of the Almighty Himself: things were sure going to start turning around for me.”

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However, upon turning the image upside down (as directed), Flindersen was shocked to discover that he had been the victim of the following offensive gesture:

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