He has confronted–and conquered–virtually every threat projected onto action movies known to man: camouflage aliens, heavily armed terrorists, complacent characters from the 1980’s, and Republicans (the last two are interchangeable). But when faced with the threat of killer mosquitoes, the Governor of California has no defense.
Yesterday, during a press conference at the California Department of Public Health, the Guv’nor realized that Harvey Hall, mayor of Bakersfield, had been assaulted by a West Nile terrorist. The minuscule perpetrator, allegedly, inserted its diabolical proboscis into Hall’s pate (translation: shawty bit ‘im, right on his balda** head).
Schwarzenegger, who hasn’t lost a close colleague since Carl Weathers was destroyed by an alien lifeform in 1987, immediately left the premises.
He was last seen hopping aboard a nearby helicopter where his wife, Maria Shriver (allegedly involved in an affair that somehow involves other terrorists) took them to a temporary tax shelter.