Local Texas Rancher Blasts Dead Spy Satellite

21 02 2008

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CRAWFORD, TX.: Local rancher, snake charmer, and huckster Louis Burton Lindley, Jr. went “toe-to-toe” with a wayward satellite this past Wednesday. No traces of the satellite, Lindsey, or the surface-to-air missile Lindsey was last seen mounting, could be found. However, Lindsey’s spokesman shared his last words with the press:

“Now, look boys…I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin’ on you and by golly, we ain’t about to let ’em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I’d say that you’re all in line for some important promotions and lobbying positions when this thing’s over with. That goes for ever’ last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let’s get this thing on the hump — we got some flyin’ to do.”

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