South Carolina Governor Admits Extra-Marital Affair with Alpaca

24 06 2009

“Where’s The Governor??”

gov and alpaca

Gov. Sanford was spotted on Saturday, with Tita, at a quiet venue in Buenos Aires..Can you spot the Governor and Tita in the crowd below?

(Buenos Aires) — South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, having recently returned from a secret trip to Argentina, admitted Wednesday that he has been involved in an extra-marital affair…with an alpaca.

“I’ve been unfaithful to my wife,” Sanford told reporters in Columbia, the state capital. “I developed a relationship with what started as a dear, dear friend from Argentina. She is approximately six feet tall, woolly, and plush. Her name is Tita.”


Sanford Power Plant

Tita (left) and the Governor (right)

The affair began last year when Sanford was asked to pet-sit for his neighbor, Paul, a local sheep farmer. “If I had known that there had been an alpaca, I never would have…” he trailed off, overcome with emotion, “if it had been a ram or–hell, even a llama, this tragic affair might have been averted.”

In a statement issued Wednesday, Sanford’s wife claimed that she had complained two months earlier that “Tita is clearly not a hypoallergenic animal,” then politely requested that both of them move out.

“I deeply regret any harm that I have brought upon my wife, my children, and my dear, dear friend from Argentina. She is greatly troubled by these recent events and respectfully asks that reporters keep their distance or else risk the wrath of her spittle. If provoked, she may wark or orgle. These are noises that the two of us would like to keep to ourselves, like the private sounds of two, consensual mammals.”